I have a chocolate bar. It is a family-sized one and tonight I am an entire family.
I will soon be an entire family in front of tv on the internet with my exciting choco bar. And I will watch some weird reality show that I stream for free while hoping that such an activity does not give my computer a virus.
Tv on the internet is weird but I like it. Because there are no commercials and I like to watch good storytelling, be it about vampires, motorcycle clubs, lesbians or historical times. Tonight it might be motorcycle clubs. Because I just got my motorcycle license!
And please don’t tell me to be careful or about a motorcycle accident you heard about recently. Of course I will be careful. And news of motorcycle accidents does not make me a more cautious rider, it just makes me paranoid. There are always accidents, everyday, with all sorts of vehicles and tools and playground equipment and staircases and on and on. They are tragic and commonplace. I hope to not have one. That is my intention.
I took a safety course. It was all weekend long here in Halifax, Nova Scotia. 8 hours each day on a motorcycle, from pushing it around the parking lot, to turning it on and off, to getting into first gear then second gear then around the pylons and corners. And now I have a beginners permit because I passed the necessary test and they trust me. Inwardly, I cried. I swelled up. Because I’ve been wanting to ride a bike for half my life and it intimidated me and though I knew I could do it I was still scared of failing, of looking foolish. Aren’t we all…
So, now I have a license but no bike. I am searching on kijiji. But I have no money. So I am looking at cheap ones. But I don’t know how to fix them. So I am looking for cheap ones in good shape. But I don’t know how to tell. So I am feeling nervous about calling the phone numbers that are connected to the bikes that seem cheap and yet in good shape.
Life is a series of obstacles.
I’m not sure.
I’m not sure what life is.
To the person that commented to me about my last blog. Thank you. Yes, it IS okay.
Today I rode my bike to an appt, as I do, and I passed a dreamy motorcycle. I’m going to call the number. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe with my mom nearby who is worried a bit but secretly excited for this new venture of mine. She knows I follow my soul around, my irrational and beauty-loving soul. And she must also know that I have good defensive driving skills. And I’ve done other ‘crazy’ things.
I’m reading ‘Just Kids’ by Patti Smith. It’s inspiring. I don’t listen to her music, I haven’t much at all. But I know a bit about her and respect her work and what she’s done. It’s a great story.
Today I got the copies of my first published book. 10 copies to do with as I wish. I will give them to my family and my close friends. I gave one to myself already. I’ve been carrying it around and I take it out of my bag and run my hand over the cover once in awhile. I’ve always wanted a book. It’s my first book and I’m nervous. How will people respond, what will they think, what will they say? I have thin skin..
But I’m proud, like I am about the motorcycle license. Things I’ve wanted to do. I have no money and that is a blog entry in and of itself (because I’ve been thinking about that lately, about what it takes to make an income after so much investment..) but I have a published book and a motorcycle license. And friends and support and fans who might read this blog and a bicycle and today is summer and so I dove naked into a lake to celebrate. I can dive into lakes, naked if I want because there is so much space. No people, save a beautiful friend who supports such ventures. I offered something to the gods, because they have been good to me and they have been good to us. We still have a planet and it still supports us, though we are terrible stewards. I don’t even know if I believe in gods. I don’t believe in god. Plural gods make more sense to me. It’s just like a concept of interconnection and a huge web and everyone is a part of it, all the gods, all the myths, all the stories. Sure, why not. I’m very impressionable.
I’m also typing really fast and I only meant to say hello and tell you about my book and that I would write more soon.
Well, I will write more soon. I will include the details about where to buy my book. It will be in some stores and also online.
The chocolate bar, the motorcycle club stories, it’s all waiting. It’s been a long day and darkness has descended and I am going to sit on my plaid chair and tv on the internet is going to tell me a story.